1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I smell stomach acid.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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