just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
is wine microwaveable?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
