You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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