I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
