Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
