Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
