god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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