So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
