Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
