i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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