North Korea, Best Korea!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
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