i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
