So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
