Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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