you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
