If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
