haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
