dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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