i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
