you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
