just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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