I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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