you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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