hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
