While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
