I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
