I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
