so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
