he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize