My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
