I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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