Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
