I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Randomize
