CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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