Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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