i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
