i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
