I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
