I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize