Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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