Don't you send me to vm
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
