in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
