There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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