Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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