Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
