I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
