I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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