Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
