i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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