But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You pole danced in your parka.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
