Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Randomize
