the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
