The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
