this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
All the doctor said was why
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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