My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize