I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You made out with two different species that night
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
