There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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