Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
