I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
