Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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