All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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