Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
