i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
