She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
