Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize