Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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