While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
