Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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